I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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