my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Randomize
