Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
