when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize