This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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