I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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