Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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