im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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