8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
