best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
