So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
how can u be prego again
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
