can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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