but the lizard people decide everything anyway
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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