hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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