sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
