woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
