I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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