just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
