Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I smell stomach acid.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
