Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
