Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
