you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
