i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He did a backflip because drugs
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
