just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
