There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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