Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize