I'm so fucking centered right now
just tell him i said nine months
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
