Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
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M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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