Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
