if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
