I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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