Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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