Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
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I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
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Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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