dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
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We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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