You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
