is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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