I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Randomize
