Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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