I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize