U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
