Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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