I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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