OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
