Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
