just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
