are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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