Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
