I am spending my child support on dildos
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
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he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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