what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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