So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
