I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
