i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize