I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
