If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
