break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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