I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
